Story Time

Once there lived an Irish giant. He was the biggest giant that ever lived, and he loved nothing more than to have a good fight now and again to prove his skill and prowess in combat. One day, word comes to him of a Scottish Giant who lives across the water. The Irish Giant thinks that no man could possibly be bigger or stronger than he is, and decides he must fight this other giant to prove it. So he shouts across the water to this other giant, challenging him to a fight. But the Scottish Giant thinks HE is the biggest and strongest man in the world, and this other giant in Ireland isnt worth his time. So every day the Irish Giant bellows challenges across the sea to the Scottish Giant, who every day refuses.

Day by day, the Irish Giant gets angrier and angrier, and finally he thinks up a plan to fight this Scottish Giant once and for all. He decides to build a bridge from Ireland to Scotlad, and hunt down this other giant and beat him in a fight. Every day, his bridge gets closer and closer, and he gets more and more ready for the coming fight. The Scottish Giant sees this bridge being built, and finally agrees to meet and have it out, and starts to make his way across the bridge. The Irish Giant, having never before seen this enemy with his own eyes, sees the other man coming out of the mist over the bridge. His eyes grow wide with fear, for the Scottish Giant is far greater in size that himself. He sees his rival's great arms and huge legs, and knows he will never be able to best him in a duel.

The Irish Giant runs back to his house as quickly as he can. "Wife, Wife!" he shouts. "Help me, Wife!" She sees how scared her poor husband is, and how huge the Scottish Giant is coming over the bridge. She tells him not to worry. She has a plan. She dresses her giant husband up like a giant baby, and puts him in a giant crib in the house by the fire. She tells him to just sit, and not make a sound.

The Scottish Giant storms over the bridge and comes to Ireland, ready for a fight. He is met by the Irish wife. Towering over her he bellows, "Where is this giant fellow Im supposed to fight?" The wife keeps her cool, and says, "Hes out with the sheep, but Im sure he will be back any minute now. Wont you have some tea and wait?" He agrees, and comes into the house with her. While she gets the tea ready, he sits and looks about the room. In the corner by the hearth he sees there a giant crib, and in this crib he sees a giant baby. He gets to thinking that if this Irish Giant's BABY is this huge and ugly, he doesnt want to stick around and meet the FATHER in a fight! Before the wife can bring out the tea, he makes up an excuse and high-tails it out of that house. He ran back across the bridge to Scotland, tearing out the bridge behind him so the Irish giant could never follow.

And now you know the REAL history of how the Giant's Causeway came to be. Some people will tell you something about lava heating and cooling over a period of time, and geological formations, but thats obviously utter nonsense.