Hey California. I love you, you know that. But living in California can sometimes be like having a mean old dad who has no sense of humor, and doesnt like to see anyone having fun. Theres so many rules and laws about stuff, that its a small wonder we arent all locked up all the time. I feel like a lot of these crazy laws revolve around animals. You may not hunt moths under a street light, it is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar, and ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times. You also cant own ferrets or gerbils, because if they are let into the wild they'll turn rabid and start killing off the cattle or something. But they ARE legal in Montana. Isnt that where all the cows are? Y U SO CRAY, CALI?
Living in Europe however, is like having a sleep-over at your cool friend's house, and her mom lets you guys do anything you want. Sometimes we feel like this is what the 1940s or 50s must have felt like in the states. Its a simpler way of life here, slower paced and sleepy, where the children's toys might have lead in them, but they sure last a long time! Its like we have been transported back in time, and everyone trusts everyone, and nobody thinks the worst about the strangers around them. Even the Irish President Michael Higgins walks around town, WITHOUT a swat team or secret service or body double or anything! Just walks around!
I try to imagine Obama sauntering down any street in California, alone or maybe hand-in-hand with his daughters. Wearing a plaid shirt and high-water khakis, he stops in a store and buys a lollypop for one of them. He waves to the smiling barber shop owner, who's busy sweeping his front porch. I told you, its like being back in the 50s or something! Jon asked one of his co-workers if their President isnt worried about getting assassinated. With a confused look on his face, the co-worker asked Jon, "Why would someone want to hurt the President?" Isnt that sweet.
This general lackadaisical approach to life is great! Its freeing! Until you get home and open up that carton of eggs, and find a couple feathers and maybe even a little bit of poo on the shells. Or the milk you just bought yesterday has already gone bad, and leaves you wondering just how old it really was. Or youre eating at a nice restaurant, and a silky black cat walks by, apparently there to help keep down the rat population. Appetizing thoughts. I guess a lot of the time, that mean old Californian dad does what he does to keep you healthy and safe, as annoying as his stringent rules and laws are.
Far less important than thoughts of the President or national worries, theres this thing called a fish pedicure, where you stick your feet in warm water and all these little bitty fish suck the dead skin cells right off! It is (of course) illegal in California, due to health regulations that say for sanitation purposes, tools must be sanitized before and after each use by a patron. Well you cannot sanitize a living fish. Then it says you can use the fish, but the fish must be thrown out after every use. Well that would probably just open up a big ol' can of PETA whoop-ass, so they just made it illegal as a whole.
But yay for us, we are having a sleep-over in Ireland, and its totally ok here! Fish pedicures for everyone! The best part: its cheap at only 15euro for a half hour, plus you get a lovely foot gel to lash on afterwards! Whats that you say about infection? Mold? Cross-contamination and flesh-eating bacteria? Nah, we dont have to worry about that stuff here. Its Europe, darling!
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