This May Offend Pet-Haters

I have always thought people who do not own animals by choice are weird. How could you NOT want something fluffy and cute (or even scaled and sleek) to call your own? Another life form to take care of, dote on, and cuddle with? A little pile of fur that bounces up and down whenever they see you walk in the door? And by the way, husbands just dont count; mines not much of a bouncer anyway. I tend to think that people who have the ability, room, and time to have even a small animal, and STILL choose to stay pet-less, are often people I dont really get along with. They're generally very tidy and (dare I say) neurotic. They are the white couch lovers, the no-shoes-allowed rulers, the dry-clean-only buyers.

And now Im worried Im one of them, by way of a pet-hating landlord. I bet his wife only buys Organic lettuce, too. The all-white dinnerware and Crate & Barrel color scheme should have tipped me off. When I found out I couldnt have so much as a hamster, it made me want to install carpet over the sterile wood floors, just so I could spill something on it.

But Im starting to like the way the square white plates make even a PB&J look like a work of art. Im beginning to love the simple black fireplace (electric of course, no soot here thanks) against the sand-colored walls. I am actually having a hard time deciding whether or not to hang a piece of art I bought in the living room, because it wont really match. I do my dishes like, as soon as I dirty them, because who wants a dirty dish in an otherwise clutter-free kitchen space? I sweep the hardwood daily, sometimes twice. I do laundry almost as much. Its a hairless, petless, LOVELESS apartment. Not even the candles Jon got for me make it much warmer. They're white.

To help stave off the neurosis creeping up on me, Ive volunteered my time at the Dublin SPCA. Im really excited to get some much-needed cuddle time in with some cute little hairballs! Dog, cat, goat, Ill take anything non-human at this point. I hope they email me back before I feel the need to cover the couch in plastic!